Friday, January 1, 2016

You'll Blow Your Eyes Up, Kid 1821


You'll Blow Your Eyes Up, Kid


Santa has been around for a long time and there isn't much he hasn't seen before.  Way back in 1821, according to Children's Friend III, Santeclaus already had his Christmas Eve gig down; a reindeer-pulled sleigh, parking on roof tops and going down chimneys, sneaking presents into stockings...  He also had a carefully selected list of approved presents. Wooden guns were a popular choice, but he was certain to avoid toys which might cause self-inflicted harm to children.

Where e'er I found good girls or boys,
That hated quarrels, strife and noise,
I left an apple, or a tart,
Or wooden gun, or painted cart;
 
To some I gave a pretty doll,
To some a peg-top, or a ball;
No crackers, cannons, squibs, or rockets,
To blow their eyes up, or their pockets.

Perhaps 120 years later, he had relaxed those safety standards just a little bit when in 1940, despite his initial reluctance in the department store ("You'll shoot your eye out, kid"), he gave Ralphie Parker a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle:




You've got to give Santa some credit for looking out for the parents too.  Ol' Santeclause avoided any annoying gifts that produced loud noises, going educational whenever he could:

No drums to stun their Mother's ear,
Nor swords to make their sisters fear;
But pretty books to store their mind
With knowledge of each various kind.
  

The naughty and nice list was also well established in 1821.  The list of infringements which got you on the naughty list would have knocked young Ralphie out of contention for getting his Red Ryder thanks to his potty mouth:

 But where I found the children naughty,
In manners rude, in temper haughty,
Thanklefs to parents, lairs, swearers,
Boxers, or cheats, or base tale-bearers,

 
  
Ohhh fudge.  And it wasn't lumps of coal Santa was giving out back then either:

I left a long, black, birchen rod,
Such as the dread command of God
Directs a parent's hand to use
When virtue's path his sons refuse.


Well, there's always next Christmas.

  1. (1821) "The Children's friend. Number III. : A New-Year's present, to the little ones from five to twelve." click here to read the full story.
  2. (1983) A Christmas Story 

1821 - Santeclaus - Childrens' Friend

The Children's friend. Number III. : A New-Year's present, to the little ones from five to twelve. 
 (1821) 

 
 
 


Old Santeclause with much delight
His reindeer drives this frosty night,
O'er chimney tops,and tracks of snow,
to bring his yearly gifts to you.

The steady friend of virtuous youth,
The friend of duty, and of truth,
Each Christmas eve he joys to come
Where love and peace have made their home.

Through many houses he has been,
And various beds and stockings seen;
Some, white as snow, and neatly mended,
Others, that seem'd for pigs intended.

Where e'er I found good girls or boys,
That hated quarrels, strife and noise,
I left an apple, or a tart,
Or wooden gun, or painted cart ;

To some I gave a pretty doll,
To some a peg-top, or a ball;
No crackers, cannons, squibs, or rockets,
To blow their eyes up, or their pockets.

No drums to stun their Mother's ear,
Nor swords to make their sisters fear;
But pretty books to store their mind
With knowledge of each various kind.

But where I found the children naughty,
In manners rude, in temper haughty,
Thanklefs to parents, lairs, swearers,
Boxers, or cheats, or base tale-bearers,

I left a long, black, birchen rod,
Such as the dread command of God
Directs a parent's hand to use
When virtue's path his sons refuse.

Source: Doolittle, I. (1821). The Children's friend. Number III. : A New-Year's present, to the little ones from five to twelve. Part III. : Containing eight coloured engravings. Price 25 cents: plain, 18 3/4 cents. Published by William B. Gilley, no. 92 Broadway. Link: Yale, Beinecke Library

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Santa Claus in the early 19th century

A list of references from the 19th century to Santa Claus, St. Nicholas, Kriskringle, and Father Christmas. 


"observed throughout his dominions nor was the day of St Nicholas suffered to pass by without making presents hanging the stocking in the chimney and complying with all its other ceremonies"

Source: (1809) Irving, Washington. A History of New York: From the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty, pp 252

-----

"And the sage Oloffe dreamed a dream - and lo, the good St. Nicholas came riding over the tops of the trees, in that self-same waggon wherin he brings his yearly presents to children ;"

Source: (1821) Irving, Washington. A History of New York: From the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty, A New Edition, pp 77-8
note: Possibly also in a 1812 edition? 

-----

Now commences the infantile revelry,
Happy urchins the story believe,
That Santaclaus,* since ages of chivalry,
Visits the nursery on holiday eve.
Socks intended for gifts are suspended,
And mystic rites blended, the fancy to cheer,
While sweet snap-dragon exhausts the full flagon,
Each Merry Christmas and Happy New-Year. 

... * contracted from St. Nicholas

Source: (1819) The Ladies' Literary Cabinet, Volume 1, pp 54. "The Nativity", Woodworth, S.
 
-----


Source: Doolittle, I. (1821). The Children's friend. Number III. : A New-Year's present, to the little ones from five to twelve. Part III. : Containing eight coloured engravings. Price 25 cents: plain, 18 3/4 cents. pp 1. Published by William B. Gilley, no. 92 Broadway. Link: Yale, Beinecke Library

-----

A VISIT FROM ST. NICHOLAS.
BY CLEMENT C. MOORE

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse ;
'The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there ;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced through their heads ;
And mamma in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap -
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter ;
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
'Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon, on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein deer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name ;
"Now, Dasher ! now, Dancer ! now, Prancer ! now, Vixen !
On ! Comet, on ! Cupid, on! Donder and Blixen -
'To the top of the porch ! to the top of the wall !
Now, dash away, dash away, dash away, all !"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys - and St. Nicholas too.
And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
'The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with ashes and soot ;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he look'd like a pedlar just opening his pack.
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry !
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry ;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
'The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook, when he laugh'd like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump l a right jolly old elf ;
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings ; then turned with a jirk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle ;
But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all,  and to all a good night!"

Source: (1837) The New-York Book of Poetry, pp217-9
Also: (1826) "Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas or Santa Claus", Casket - Vol I, pg 46 (no author)
Also: (1836) "Christmas Times", Rural Repository, Vol 12, pp 128 (attributed to 'Anon').  Also includes a notation to St. Nicholas - "*Santa Claus" 
Original: 1823 Troy Sentinel

-----

Father Christmas do not go
Will you leave your children so
Could we tempt you but to stay
How we'd sport the time away

Mirth in one continued round
Should fall giddy to the ground
Gaiety for ever dance
Light heel'd frolic ever prance

Well it must not always last
Thanks we give for what is past
Thanks for pleasures that remain
Then return to school again

Doubly welcome doubly dear
Christmas and the young New Year
Spread the banquet raise the song
And the happy time prolong 

Source: (1827) Christmas and the new year, a masque [in verse, by E. Lees] 

-----

The long wished for thrice repeated warning tap on the door sill is now given, and, without pause or invitation, the latch is raised, and in stalks Old Father Christmas. His garments are of an olden fashion; his white, glossy, and flowing hair is encircled by a coronal, the stout knight Holly is entwined  about and wedded unto the meek and tender Lady Misletoe, glistening with pearls like a young lovesick bride; his cheeks are blue and frost bitten, but his eye is gladsome; and although he leans upon a staff it is plain that his strong hands lack no such aid. On his back he bears a rosy, laughing child, who peeps up with a precocious snow drop on his brow, from among the hoar tresses of Father Christmas, which cover his young body as a mantle. Hear the ancient worthy's blunt exordium.

 'Here come I, Old Father Christmas, welcome or welcome not;
 Why should Old Father Christmas ever be forgot?
 He brings you mirth kind wishes lusty cheer.
 And at his back a fair young budding year;
 Brief guest am I but ere I go,
 Younkers come forth, and lip your loves, Beneath my crown of misletoe.

Source: (1827) The Portfolio of Entertaining & Instructive Varieties in History, Literature, Fine Arts, Etc. ..., Volume 2

-----

Here might be seen a careful dame, tucking up her fardingales or wrapping beneath her cloak sundry cribbed cookies destined for the Children, who, as she remarked, poor things, were at borne, no doubt, looking for Sante claus and they ought not to be neglected ;

Source: (1827) The Buccaneers: A Romance of Our Own Country, in Its Ancient Day

-----

 

Source: (c. 1837) Painting by Robert Walker Weir,  see Smithsonian Magazine link
also referenced here: (1837) The New York Review, Vol. 1, pg. 445
also referenced here: (1838) Parley's Magazine, vol. 6, pp 375

-----

Saint Basil is to the children of Greece what Sante Claus is to the American. The only difference is, that the former does not descend chimneys, but opens purses on a new year's day.

Source: (1844) An Essay on the Ancient and Modern Greek Languages

-----

Mrs. Mason did her best to entertain them, and succeeded very well. She read some pleasant extracts from Irving's Sketch-book and Bracebridge Hall, about Christmas times in England, and that pretty piece by good Dr. Clement More, "The Visit of St Nicholas." The effect of this last was most potent. I believe both of the young gentlemen realized in their dreams the graphic description of the, poet and that

"Visions of sugar plums danced in their heads."

Edward was anxious to sit up until the party returned, that he might hear Lucy's account of what they had seen. Bed-time however came, and at Mrs. Mason's suggestion, they both retired, and carefully arranged their stockings on a chair for the convenience of Santa Claus.

I shall not attempt to describe the joy which pervaded the house on the morning of Christmas. Suffice it to say, Kriskringle was extremely liberal of his favours, and had forgotten nobody.

Source: (1854) Norton, John Nicholas. The Boy who was Trained Up to be a Clergyman. pp 31

-----

 KRISKRINGLE
(Written for a little girl to speak in one of the Public Schools, in Philadelphia, 1880. The whole School sang the Chorus on the blackboard.)

YOU'VE heard of Kriskringle, who goes roaming around,
He's sought for by thousands, but never is found ;
But how to describe what never was seen,
A creature so rare, yet a human being !
But mediums who hold converse with the dead,
Know where Kriskringle's spirit has fled.
They say he dwells in the regions above.
A happy old man - his heart filled with love -
And once in the year he comes to the earth,
To cause both rejoicing and gladness and mirth.
He's a friend to the children, who gladly obey
Their parents and teachers from day to day ;
And he loves the rich as well as the poor,
And sends them fine presents from door to door ;
He loves the green bushes all cover'd with snow,
And nothing can please like the mistletoe bough.
They say that his face can do nothing but smile.
So lavish his gifts, with pile upon pile !
I think we children should sing him a song,
To encourage his heart and help him along.
He's the king of all givers, living to give ;
May his riches increase, and long may he live !

CHORUS - All hail to Kriskringle !
May he ever live single !
A happy old bachelor he ;
A friend at all times,
When the Christmas chimes
Make our hearts both happy and free.

So all hail! all hail!
May gladness prevail !
For Kriskringle's the man for me ;
His face is so fine,
Just like unto mine,
I think we shall ever agree.

Kriskringle has come,
Both silent and dumb,
And left me a blessing behind ;
So secret his ways
He never betrays ;-
The gifts I am certain to find.

All glory to Kris,
Who brings us such bliss !
I should like to tell him my mind ;
He need not refrain
His coming again,
Till Christmas leaves the year behind.

So welcome, old friend,
You know I intend
To marry no other but ye ;
'Tis gifts win the heart,
At least so in part,
I'll marry if you'll marry me.

Source: (1885) Suttill, Matthew. The Works of the Poet Coachman, pp46-7 

Thursday, February 19, 2015

US Patent 6469 - Abraham Lincoln

Letters Patent No. 6,469, dated May 22, 1849; application filed March 10, 1849.

"To all whom it may concern:
  Be it know that I, Abraham Lincoln, of Springfield, in the County of Sangamon, in the State of Illinois, have invented a new and improved manner of combining adjustable buoyant air chambers with a steamboat or other vessel for the purpose of enabling their draught water to be readily lessened to enable them to pass over bars, or through shallow water, without discharging their cargoes;..."

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Survey: Which is the Real Cranberry?



Cranberries are a staple of Thanksgiving Dinner.  But which is the proper way to serve and consume this quintessential side dish; canned or fresh? Are 'real' cranberries only cooked and served straight from the produce isle or is it not 'real' cranberry unless in the form of a can-shaped log carved into perfect circular slices?


Take the survey:

Which is the proper way to serve Cranberries at Thanksgiving?







Cranberry Trivia
  1. The high nutrient and anti-oxidant content of cranberries has many producers marketing them as 'super fruits'.  They also help prevent Urinary Tract Infections. Bonus.
  2. Cranberries are native to North America. The Pilgrims called them 'Craneberries'. Whalers used to take them to sea to prevent scurvy.
  3.  The Irish band The Cranberries were originally called Cranberry Saw Us, a pun on Cranberry Sauce.
  4. Canned cranberry sauce will last for 1-2 years if unopened.  So if you don't get through all of your cranberry logs this Thanksgiving, save 'em for next year's feast...

Friday, November 21, 2014

The Greatest Pet Patents Ever




Searching for the perfect Christmas gift for your pet? Check out these two patented inventions.

Does your pet always seem to wake up too early, or want to go out in the middle of the night? Maybe you two aren't on the same schedule because his time is faster than human time. Well its a good thing that US Patent 5023850 has the answer:

"... clock, watch, and the like for keeping time at an animal's rate, defined in terms of a multiple of human rate by dividing the average lifetime of a particular animal into the average lifetime of a human being. The multiple for dogs is seven..."

Or if finding ways to pass the time or getting some exercise is more of the issue, try US Patent 6701872:





"An apparatus for exercising a curious animal such as a housecat comprises a laser pointer mounted on a shaft driven by a geared motor mounted on a pedestal ... the laser pointer may be mounted on the head of an oscillatory air circulation fan..."

Wondering why you didn't think of these?